Salad dodger

[Gern]

Hi Ron, good to see you finally got out of your predicament.

I fully understand why you don't want to tell everyone why you've been away but I won't spare you the embarrassment (What else are good mates for?!).

It's like this guys. A few weeks ago, Ron decided to visit his mate Idu at The Clacker. On the way to the pub, he spotted a new hardware store had opened and decided to have a browse. The only thing he bought was a small pack of cheapo Superglue and as it was small he just put it in his back pocket and promptly forgot about it - just as all old farts of our generation do.

I'm sure I don't need to spell out what happened next. Suffice it to say, Idu is a bit of a lad who likes a good joke and was quite happy to spend some quality time with his best mate - and supply a bucket when needed! He is however looking for a replacement bar stool!

Just a thought Ron. Is it worth posting this in the "I've done something stupid so you don't have to" thread? :smiling3: :smiling3: :smiling3:

[Allen Dewire]

Good to see you back here Ron,

Took another trip through the Looking Glass did we??? Some kind of mushroom or maybe the men on the chessboard???........Hmmm......

Prost
Allen

[Tim Marlow]

Sounds like a bit of Grace Slick going on there Allen........

[PaulTRose]

Sounds like a bit of Grace Slick going on there Allen........

must admit i like the version Pink did a few years back

[minitnkr]

Pink did White Rabbit? Wow, just heard it on U-tube, apparently only released in Japan. Hellofajob! I need this recording. The perfect accompaniment to LT1 open exhaust. Wore out the tape I had of it in my 57 along w/Ozzie, Tangerine Dream, Pink Floyd, & ZZ Top. PaulE

[Allen Dewire]

Sounds like a bit of Grace Slick going on there Allen........

Nah Tim,

Think back to Ron's old avatar....Dressed in his "Sunday go to meeting" suit, light colored top hat and the psychedelic glasses he had on........

It was just a thought...............

[spanner570]

All great posts (Apart from the bit about loosing a member) I feel partly to blame......

Right, with reference to Jim's post about bits falling off at a certain age, I think it only right and proper to dispel any further rumours and falsehoods about my well being - Thus far!

So for those who might arouse a modicum of interest to read the following, here is a quick rundown on my bits and pieces and what happened to them, as they happened, over the last 73 years......

Never needed or taken wacky backy or any 'Substances', but in my time I've been offered plenty!

At 7yrs. old I contracted Dysentery and put in hospital isolation and had a huge 20 bed ward all to myself for three weeks. My mum and dad didn't have a car, so cycled the 20 mile round trip from home every day, just to tap on the window of the ward and give the Ward Sister a Dinky Toy at every visit. All I could do was watch my dad pull funny faces and try and stop mum from crying. When I left Hospital all 21 toys were destroyed for fear of contamination. It transpired that I had caught the disease from my dad. He became a carrier during his time in Burma during WW2. As he often quoted " They never got me, but the ba****ds nearly got my son!"

This morning, I counted my 'Proper teeth', I have 16. The majority of the other 16 were lost when my mouth came into contact with a concrete window cill whilst I was out playing on my 10th Birthday. It was a Sunday and my poor father had to take me to try and find a dentist. Luckily he did, but most of the damage to my front teeth was irreparable.
The worst part was I was unable to blow out my 10 candles on the cake and was spoon fed for the next 4 weeks! The rest of the first 16 molars have parted company with my gums as Father Time got to work. Still,16 still to go....

At 10+yrs. old I developed acute Appendicitis and nearly died. I have a huge 9" scar to prove it. I think the surgeon missed the thing first stab into my guts. I spent yet another three weeks in a hospital. As a result I missed the first sitting for my 11+ exam and promptly failed the exam when I was nearly well enough to sit it. That was my excuse when my parents confronted me with the exam result......

Fast forward to 1981.
At the time, I always wanted my own football team, so when my wife and I married, she promised she would produce 11 boys. We reached two and decided that was enough.
What follows I will try and put as delicately as possible and is the truth.....
£20 cash and no questions. I was number 36 that day. Not a bad earner back in 1981.
I was 'Done' in an attic which the surgeon, who owned a big detached house, had converted into his own fully equipped Operating Theatre. It turned out he was the Head of Gynaecology (Gospel Truth) at a certain hospital not far from where I lived. His 'Nurse' was his wife.

The green cloth with a hole in the middle was suitably draped.
After I'd opted for local jabs, rather than general. The butcher said "This is no more than a bee sting."
I thinks "You can die from them!"
A suitable time went by "There, that's done, didn't hurt much did it?"
I was about to get up and punch him when he said....
"Right, now for the other side!"
For mutual support I had gone with a friend. I had won the coin toss and opted to go first. When I was in the recovery/waiting room (The surgeon's kitchen) waiting for my mate to be sorted, a bloke around the same age as me came in. He was deathly white and shaking. Me, I was cock sure (Pardon the pun) and the anesthetic was still doing it's work.....

His voice trembled.
"Does it hurt? He asked, looking at me for re-assurance.
"Nah, not one bit. Piece of cake."
As an afterthought and to calm the man down I said - and I don't know to this day why.
"In any case, the nurse gives you a big rubber ring to bite on!!"
Strange to relate he upped and scarpered and didn't even close the kitchen door.
"Where's Mr. Jones?" enquired the nurse.
I simply replied that he just decided to leave......

So there you go.
That is it thus far. I count myself extremely lucky to be at my time of life without the need to take any medicine or pills and apart from those listed above, all remaining things original and working as best they can. It saddens me to read on this forum about my friends on here who are not so fortunate. No doubt summat will catch me sooner rather than later. So each time I open the curtains, I thank whoever is looking after me for another day.

I hope the above is allowed and you found these true tales entertaining.

Now rest easy chaps and thanks again for all you most excellent and amusing posts.

Dr. Crippen.
Mid. Atlantic.

[boatman]

Ron :thinking: its the way you tellem :rolling: :smiling3:great to see you back an ok
chris

[GerryW]

All great posts (Apart from the bit about loosing a member) I feel partly to blame......

Right, with reference to Jim's post about bits falling off at a certain age, I think it only right and proper to dispel any further rumours and falsehoods about my well being - Thus far!

So for those who might arouse a modicum of interest to read the following, here is a quick rundown on my bits and pieces and what happened to them, as they happened, over the last 73 years......

Never needed or taken wacky backy or any 'Substances', but in my time I've been offered plenty!

At 7yrs. old I contracted Dysentery and put in hospital isolation and had a huge 20 bed ward all to myself for three weeks. My mum and dad didn't have a car, so cycled the 20 mile round trip from home every day, just to tap on the window of the ward and give the Ward Sister a Dinky Toy at every visit. All I could do was watch my dad pull funny faces and try and stop mum from crying. When I left Hospital all 21 toys were destroyed for fear of contamination. It transpired that I had caught the disease from my dad. He became a carrier during his time in Burma during WW2. As he often quoted " They never got me, but the ba****ds nearly got my son!"

This morning, I counted my 'Proper teeth', I have 16. The majority of the other 16 were lost when my mouth came into contact with a concrete window cill whilst I was out playing on my 10th Birthday. It was a Sunday and my poor father had to take me to try and find a dentist. Luckily he did, but most of the damage to my front teeth was irreparable.
The worst part was I was unable to blow out my 10 candles on the cake and was spoon fed for the next 4 weeks! The rest of the first 16 molars have parted company with my gums as Father Time got to work. Still,16 still to go....

At 10+yrs. old I developed acute Appendicitis and nearly died. I have a huge 9" scar to prove it. I think the surgeon missed the thing first stab into my guts. I spent yet another three weeks in a hospital. As a result I missed the first sitting for my 11+ exam and promptly failed the exam when I was nearly well enough to sit it. That was my excuse when my parents confronted me with the exam result......

Fast forward to 1981.
At the time, I always wanted my own football team, so when my wife and I married, she promised she would produce 11 boys. We reached two and decided that was enough.
What follows I will try and put as delicately as possible and is the truth.....
£20 cash and no questions. I was number 36 that day. Not a bad earner back in 1981.
I was 'Done' in an attic which the surgeon, who owned a big detached house, had converted into his own fully equipped Operating Theatre. It turned out he was the Head of Gynaecology (Gospel Truth) at a certain hospital not far from where I lived. His 'Nurse' was his wife.

The green cloth with a hole in the middle was suitably draped.
After I'd opted for local jabs, rather than general. The butcher said "This is no more than a bee sting."
I thinks "You can die from them!"
A suitable time went by "There, that's done, didn't hurt much did it?"
I was about to get up and punch him when he said....
"Right, now for the other side!"
For mutual support I had gone with a friend. I had won the coin toss and opted to go first. When I was in the recovery/waiting room (The surgeon's kitchen) waiting for my mate to be sorted, a bloke around the same age as me came in. He was deathly white and shaking. Me, I was cock sure (Pardon the pun) and the anesthetic was still doing it's work.....

His voice trembled.
"Does it hurt? He asked, looking at me for re-assurance.
"Nah, not one bit. Piece of cake."
As an afterthought and to calm the man down I said - and I don't know to this day why.
"In any case, the nurse gives you a big rubber ring to bite on!!"
Strange to relate he upped and scarpered and didn't even close the kitchen door.
"Where's Mr. Jones?" enquired the nurse.
I simply replied that he just decided to leave......

So there you go.
That is it thus far. I count myself extremely lucky to be at my time of life without the need to take any medicine or pills and apart from those listed above, all remaining things original and working as best they can. It saddens me to read on this forum about my friends on here who are not so fortunate. No doubt summat will catch me sooner rather than later. So each time I open the curtains, I thank whoever is looking after me for another day.

I hope the above is allowed and you found these true tales entertaining.

Now rest easy chaps and thanks again for all you most excellent and amusing posts.

Dr. Crippen.
Mid. Atlantic.

You was lucky - mine was done in the hospital, and several spectators (nurses) - the one watching my face came out with the classic understatement of "there's some discomfort here" - too right there was, the anaesthetic hadn't taken properly!!

[yak face]

The green cloth with a hole in the middle was suitably draped.

Mmm ,why do i suddenly fancy a game of bar billiards ?

[Tim Marlow]

I think Ron was lucky to go private with his private’s.....at that time the preferred removal method on the NHS was two brick banged together hard. Apparently it was completely painless as long as you kept your fingers out of the way!

[Allen Dewire]

Oh Tony.......I see you forgot to take your meds again...................

[grumpa]

Hi Ron, great to have you back, I wasn't worried a bit, sometimes things come up and the luxury of modeling gets put on the back burner.
As far as my medical history goes, I would have to write a book that absolutely no one would enjoy reading...still popping along though
but in a far more diminished state than ever.

When I left the services at the tender age of 23, I was already a physical and emotional wreck, for various reasons I won't expound on.
Only youth, a strong body and a good wife brought me slowly but steadily back into the normal world.

I worked as an electrician for nearly 30 years in NYC, starting as a lowly non union slug helper to joining the IBEW to finally working for the city itself
in the school construction authority, from whence I retired.
My health was good almost all of those years aside from the usual scrips and scrapes associated, oh, I did fall off a scaffold once and required some knee surgery
but it wasn't so bad and I was back to work in six weeks.

A few years before retirement which came early, I was developing sever bouts of back pain, which became quite debilitating at times.
I was diagnosed with degenerating disc disease and was told I was not a candidate for any type of surgical procedures due to the extent of the damage.
Pain meds and a wheel chair would be my future......THANKS A LOT!!

Well I've avoided the wheel chair up to now and really don't need the pain meds unless I have a flare up, thank God.
Had two arterial blockages in 2011, two stents later and I'm still here, then two and a half years ago the V.A. diagnosed me with congestive heart failure!
GREAT!...now I'm on blood thinners and oh, did I mention "A-Fib"? couple more pills for that!

But what is really knocking me for a loop though is this God awful COPD! to any one out there who still smokes...STOP NOW!!
COPD is one of the worst possible ailments one can have, it robs you of everything.
A nice walk with the wife?...forget it! Play with the dogs and or the Grand kids....forget it! Almost anything of a physical nature...FUGGET ABOUT IT!!
This leads to depression, apathy and a whole host of other mental and emotional problems. Without the V.A. my meds would cost around $4,000 a month
instead it's all free because of my status and I can afford that, until.....

Every time I say the word free, my wife reminds me that it is anything but, as no one knows better than she the true prepaid price..so she says.
I say, pour me a vodka.....please :hugging-face:

Thank God I have a large and loving family and the boys have a firm grasp on the family businesses, though I do reserve P.I.A. status.
My Missus is a saint and worries about me more than I do. This whole virus debacle scares the hell out of me, I refuse to leave the mountain and
I'm beginning to resemble "Grizzly Adams"



Every time we think about getting a vaccination something comes up about one or the other of them, from blood clots to sudden death!
In my frail and precarious condition it just makes me want to crawl under a rock somewhere.

But we shall "endeavor to persevere"



Jim.

[Mini Me]

Hang in there Jim and to Hell with the "Shot".......I shall rely on my own immune system
Rick H. :thumb2:

[boatman]

WELL RICK WE HAVE HAD OURS
CHRIS AN JEN